5 Hip Hop Groups That Also Deserve Biopics

Alright,I don’t about you but, I am really excited for tomorrow’s release of Straight Outta Comptom. As,I progress in my music listening I have come to really dig N.W.A.’s work and I think there is a great story behind the music to be told.

With that said I think there are some other groups that have just as an interesting story to tell. I will also be recommending titles for these perspective features. Also, please keep in mind that this piece is written by a really geeky suburban bred girl. So, please don’t be too harsh.

Wu-Tang Clan- This is a pretty obvious choice. RZA, GZA, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Raekwon…well you know the rest. Staten Island’s finest are one the most recognizable names in hip hop and are still highly regarded ass innovators of the genre. I’m pretty sure a production is probably in development somewhere. I mean this is a movie that has to be made. My Title: A tie between Enter the Wu-Tang or Wu-Tang Forver

Public Enemy- Possibly the best thing to ever to come out of Long Island. Also, you know you want to know about Flavor Flav’s back story. How did the clock become his thing? How did Chuck D and the rest put up with him? My Title: Fight the Power.

Digital Underground- We needed another west group on this list and these guys were the pioneers of the alternative hip hop scene and they blessed us with the genius that was 2Pac. They took risks with their music that inspired a lot of artists in a way that promotes a dash of abstract concepts. Plus, I think Trent Reznor stole the rotating musicians idea from them. My Title:Same Song (I don’t think Humpty Dance would fly at the studios)

A Tribe Called Quest- Personally, I think this is a really underrated group. Not enough people know of them and that is a damn shame. They helped launch Jive records and I don’t think they get enough credit. Their songs are truly art and the lyrics are pure poetry. My title:Low End Theory

Beastie Boys- Oh, like you didn’t know that these guys were going to be on the list. Do I really have to go in detail about how these guys broke genre barriers, experimented with sound, and helped dispose of certain racial and gender stigma? Yeah, I thought so. My title:No Sleep Till Brooklyn (I also like That’s The Funky Shit

Those are my picks. What are yours?

5 unintentionally hilarious songs

Some songs are just so bad that it reaches comedic genius. Don’t believe me? Go listen to any album by Wings. But, that pales in comparison to the list I am about to unleash on you. These 5 songs have made me giggle obnoxiously for hours on end. And that’s without the help substances. So, with out further a do : The List.

Hulk Hogan’s Theme-Real American: Everybody from my generation has got to be familiar with this salute to the American people. Brought to us from one of the most recognizable names in wrestling, this song has been haunting us all for a while. However, the amount of cheesiness in this tune makes it almost as funny as some Weird Al stuff.

Fabio-When Somebody Loves Somebody: Romance novel cover boy, Fabio released an album in 1993 and it was awful. He doesn’t sing as much as reads awful erotic poetry over music that sounds like it came from The Red Shoes’ Diary. It is complete with background singers and a saxophone. I have yet to hear to rest of the album, but I don’t anything can top this track.

Whitney Houston-Greatest Love of All: I know this a song that is meant to inspire, but really it just makes me want to belt it out during drunk karaoke. Despite Houston’s talent, this song sounds like something they play on after school specials about teenage girl self esteem. We are all beautiful on the inside… or not. There are some assholes out there.

The Sylvers-Hotline: This is probably why parents weren’t too fond of ’70’s. They kind of sound like if Earth, Wind, and Fire, if Earth, Wind, and Fire lost all of their sense of fun. Also, check out those fro’s and the dancing. It’s brilliant. Plus, I think this is song about a guy falling in love with a phone sec operator. That won’t end very well.

Corey Hart-Sunglasses at Night: He has to wear sunglasses, because he doesn’t want people to see in to his soul or something. This song never made any sense. Most people think that guys who wear sunglasses at night are douchebags. Therefore, this song is about a jerk trying to catch his girlfriend cheating on him. Of course, maybe because he is wearing sunglasses at night, that is her reason for seeing another man.

Enjoy!

Jem was truly outrageous

In the 80’s cartoons were a bit more absurd. Sure, cartoons have always been a little absurd. But in the 80’s they were that way with out much humor. Which is odd, because cartoons are made for children and children are naturally full of giggles. One cartoon that was archetypes for the decade was Jem and the Holograms.

The show was about a young woman, Jerrica Benton, who inherited her late father’s record company as well as hid orphanage for teenage girls. She has her own band and keeps her stage persona a secret from almost everybody. Including her idiot boyfriend. Of course, there is a rival band that keeps trying to destroy them. Um… okay. First of all, we have a dead parent in the picture. I don’t know about you, but as a child I had issues with death being being a huge part of my television viewing. Children don’t want to think about the inevitable especially when it comes to their parents. Why couldn’t he have been retired? That little difference would not have changed the show. Second, is it not creepy that he has an orphanage for teenage girls? Didn’t anyone have any concerns about this?

Jerrica’s alter ego was Jem. The charismatic lead singer of The Holograms. She had a great sense of fashion and bright pink hair. When Jerrica needed to change into Jem, rather than putting on wig she would use a special pair of earrings that were linked to this holographic specter named Synergy. Synergy would make the transformation and fans would be wowed. That’s way too complicated. What is the risk of having your stage persona found out? Don’t artists usually let you know who their alter ego is anyway? In fact not letting people know who she really was put her in more danger than if she had just told everybody the truth. Also, it caused major confusion to her violet maned boyfriend, Rio. He had the hots for both Jem and Jerrica, so his life would have been easier if he knew that they were the same person. See kids, this is what happens when you lie. Every episode involved Jem and her band mates almost getting killed and all because of something stupid. Facepalm now!

Usually much of this damage was caused by this rival group called The Misfits (no, not Danzig’s Misfits). They had a mall goth look and attitude for days. Now, instead of trying to beat the Holograms by making better music, they would rather try numerous assassination attempts. Of course, they failed everytime. However, no one ever had them arrested. Again, the 80’s were a weird time.

Of course, none of this was as ridiculous as anything going on in the land of Eternia or maybe it was. I just want to know why this was aimed at children. I know I was way too young to understand any of this when I initially saw, but I was fascinated by the bright colors too much to really care.